


Go Fuck Yourself, John Winchester

by Double Dean (cat5gale)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Castiel (Supernatural), Cas gives John a piece of his mind, Castiel and John Winchester Meet, Castiel/Dean Winchester First Kiss, Dean Winchester Swears, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of past abuse, One Shot, POV Dean Winchester, john winchester is a homophobe, not beta read we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-06
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-19 10:56:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29873604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cat5gale/pseuds/Double%20Dean
Summary: "Dean is the Righteous Man despite what you tried so hard to mold him to be."
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 8
Kudos: 130





	Go Fuck Yourself, John Winchester

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first Supernatural fic!
> 
> For the folks in the Recovering Clowns Discord <3
> 
> I'd like to preface this by saying that I haven't see a full season since season 9, so please take any attempt at placing in this in the timeline with a pinch of salt.

“The Righteous Man, really? John raised an eyebrow as Dean poured them both another scotch before sitting back down, leaving a few empty chairs between them. 

His wish had allowed them to play at happy families for a day, but that should’ve ended at midnight and John was still here. Dean had indulged in a childish urge to have them all together, just once, like they’d never had a chance to be before but now… Now Sam and Mary had relieved themselves of John’s company and it was getting harder and harder for Dean to look the man in the eye.

“No one was more surprised than me, I can tell you that,” Dean said to his hands, leaning back in his chair. He took in the room, the bunker library, gently lit by the overhead light and the covered lamps on the desks. It should’ve been cosy, but John and cosy had never gone hand in hand.

“I’m not.”

Dean chanced a glance up at his father, before he carried on.

“They came to you because you’re good at the job, Dean.”

A lifetime of weariness settled in his bones, already aching under the weight of his fathers next words.

“All the training, all those hours on the road, on the job? Molded you into heaven’s ideal.”

There was pride in his fathers face like Dean had never seen, but it wasn’t directed at him, of course it wasn’t. It was John’s pride for himself. _I molded you into heaven’s ideal_. Dean heard it even without being said and it made him sick to his stomach.

“Must’ve been, yeah.” Forcing a single laugh into his glass as he took a swig, holding it in his mouth to savour the sting of the least painful thing in the room right now. “Glad to know all those nights spent feeding Sammy spaghetti-o’s weren’t for nothing.”

John’s glass scraped across the table as he set it down, and Dean immediately regretted saying anything at all when a thick, viscous silence settled itself between them. John shifted in his seat and Dean swallowed, not looking up.

“Dean is the Righteous Man despite what you tried so hard to mold him to be,” Cas’s voice cut through the oppressive atmosphere like early morning sun through autumn mist.

He heard John’s tongue click in annoyance as his attention shifted.

“And you are?”

Dean lifted his head just in time to see his father’s eyes rake over Cas’s trenchcoat, the tie always on the verge of coming undone, the very non-hunter-approved suit. The blatant disdain made his teeth grind.

“Dad, this is Cas,” he tried to keep his voice as level as possible but he knew, _knew_ it had softened around Cas’s name. By the way John’s eyes hardened he’d heard it too. “Castiel,” Dean amended gruffly, dropping his gaze again.

John’s whole demeanour sours and he doubts anyone else would be able to tell. Dean can. Dean always can. It’s in the set of his shoulders, the way he holds his glass, the air around him changes. It makes Dean sit straighter, just as the hairs on the back of his neck go up. Even now.

John’s eyes narrow at the angel.

“So, _Cas_ ...” the ill-disguised mockery makes Dean’s stomach turn. “What’s _that_ supposed to mean?”

There’s challenge under John’s words, he can hear it. Hears the unspoken ‘I dare you to answer me, see what happens’ he’s heard it so many times before. He hates the way it makes his head duck down on instinct. Dean tries to control his breathing through his nose, if he opens his mouth he might throw up. Cas doesn’t need this, it’s not fair to him to get caught up in whatever twisted shit is his and his father’s relationship. 

Cas though… Cas strides right into the room, bold as brass. Apparently this was a fight he's absolutely ready to have even if Dean was frankly fucking terrified at the thought. But then he’s always there to step in when Dean wavers.

“Fathers should love their children unconditionally.”

Dean’s eyes went wide as Cas’s words landed heavily on the table, he could do nothing but stare at the grain of the wood and taste his heartbeat. He just caught his own flinch when John answered.

“How dare you,” John answered through gritted teeth. “I did _everything_ for them.”

“And I can see in your eyes that you know that’s not the same,” Cas’s tone was calm and measured, almost pitch perfect to piss off one John Winchester.

As if on cue, John stood, palms flat on the table.

“You… You know nothing about us, so I think-”

“Don’t I? What could I, an angel of the Lord, possibly know about a self-centred man so filled with pride and his own narrow vision that he raises his children as warriors only to pit them against each other?”

Dean winced even as the corner of his own mouth twitched. _Sassy bastard._ But Cas wasn’t done.

“For millennia I have watched my own family’s upbringing played out time and again throughout the whole of humanity because, it’s true what we say… God made man in his own image, but I have rarely seen a better example than that before me now.”

The measured calm was replaced by shaking rage that Dean had only heard a handful of times before. To hear it in his defense was… something that tugged deep in his chest. It made him brave enough to look up; his father and Cas facing off down the length of the table. John was intimidating in his own way but it paled in the face of the immutable hostility radiating off of Cas in waves. He stepped around the table to stand behind Dean’s chair, one hand resting on the back of it, goosebumps erupted across Dean’s skin at the proximity. He couldn’t take his eyes off of Cas’s face, and the utter contempt colouring his features.

“You see, Dean doesn’t believe he deserves to be saved, or to be loved, or to even something as simple as a bathrobe without a motel logo on it. All because you filled his head with self-sacrificial bullshit,” Cas’s presence continued to expand throughout the room, and Dean was positive it was the only thing stopping John taking a swing.

“But, guess what, _John,_ Dean deserves nothing less than the world. And he’s going to get it, and he’s going to be happy and loved and supported and you? Wherever you go after this, you get to go with the knowledge that it had nothing to do with you,” the gravel in his voice now cemented with barely contained fury.

Dean had seen many cower under that gaze but John didn’t, he faced this literal embodiment of the wrath of god.

“And how in the hell would you know?” he asked quietly, his voice finally dropping into the danger zone.

In an instant Cas shrank, and John smirked.

“Because…” Cas started. “Because I-”

“Cas?” Dean murmured. The sudden change was spinning his head, and he didn’t know whether he was coming or going, or even whether he believed what Cas was saying, but Cas was saying it and he couldn’t deny he wanted to know too.

Cas looked down at him with an unreadable look in his eyes, and he sighed.

“Because...” he breathed, speaking only to Dean now. “Because, I’m going to be the one stood by your side, holding your hand… Loving you with everything I’ve got.”

Dean’s mouth fell open. The words, the confession… _Cas’s confession_ echoed in Dean’s head, his ears rang with it.

“I-If you’ll have me.”

Not trusting himself to speak, Dean nodded once. And that was all it took for Cas to glow, beatific, like heaven on earth in an underground bunker. The distant realisation that he’d just accepted and reciprocated a romantic confession from his best friend tickled his brain. He’d also unintentionally come out to his father at the same moment. It was an efficient move at least.

“No,” John’s growling voice broke into the moment. Dean slid his attention away from Cas with great effort to look at him and, for the first time in his life, realised he couldn’t give a flying fuck about this man’s opinion.

“Yes,” said Cas, simply.

“You come in here, uninvited, to tell me all about how I screwed up raising my kids, when I did my goddamn best with what was given to me?! You turn my son into... _that_? Who do you think you are?!"

Dean finally pulled himself to his feet, abandoning his still half-full glass to put himself between Cas and his father. He had faced down devils, gods and everything in between but never felt more afraid than in that moment. All he’d ever wanted was John’s approval, craved it, built his whole self around the ideal of him. Only for him to never be enough; not good enough, not man enough, not Mom enough. Always too much Dean.

He nearly gasped when Cas’s fingers brushed his wrist, astounded at how small a gesture could contain so much. The threat to build and the promise to break present in equal measure. He looked his father in the eyes.

“He’s the one that was there for me,” Dean choked. “That’s who he is.”

His fingers twitched and he wasn’t sure whether it was to hold Cas’s hand or to punch John in the face, he was sort of hoping for the chance at both.

The air between the three of them rose to a simmer held just below a rolling boil. Until John’s lip curled in disgust and Dean’s heart sank. At 15 he’d known how this would go, so he’d buried way down deep, so deep it became the foundation for every other piece of shit he’d had to deal with since then. That didn’t mean it didn’t hurt to see. Regret quickly coloured the rejection when John’s weight shifted, his old man’s fingers curling into a fist.

Grief warred with self preservation but resignation won when he knew he wasn’t going to be quick enough to block the blow. Cas was though; In a flurry of worn trenchcoat he was in front of Dean to catch John’s wrist before the punch even left the man’s shoulder. Pain contorted his face when Cas squeezed.

“You will never raise a hand to him again.”

It wasn’t a question, merely a statement of truth. It left no room to maneuver, nothing to argue about and when Dean didn’t immediately jump to his defense, John seemed to realise that this wasn’t a fight he was going to win anyway. For all his faults Dean knew he wasn’t a dumb man, he normally picked the fights he knew he could win. So it was no surprise when he wrenched himself free of Cas’s grip and, without a second glance at either of them, stalked from the room.

Dean waited for the slam of a door, or something to smash but nothing came. Only Cas’s hand on his shoulder.

“Are you okay?”

Dean blinked at him in shock before pulling Cas into a hug, burying his face in his collar.

“I think I will be,” he mumbled, and he believed it. Cas’s arms wound around him.

“I’ll help.”

“You already do.”

With a sniff he let Cas go, allowing his hands to slide down his arms to his hands. Cas interlalces their fingers, Dean grinning at them like he can’t believe what he’s seeing.

“I’m sorry., I didn’t want to- I just heard what he- I got so angry and-”

“Hey, no, it’s okay. Honestly, Cas, I should’ve stood up for myself a long time ago but-”

“It’s easier with someone in your corner,” Cas finished for him.

“To put it simply, yeah,” Dean nodded slowly, huffing a laugh at Cas’s over-simplification of the situation.

"I’ll always be in your corner, Dean.” Cas’s head tilted, in that way that Dean had denied he loved for years.

Dean chewed his lip, still smiling as he debated whether to throw caution to the wind. ”Alright, how about you stop being a sap and just kiss me already?”

So Cas did. He cupped Dean’s face in both hands, and brought them together so gently. Cas’s lips weren’t soft, they were chapped and dry like always and that… That brought it home that this was real. Cas was kissing him. Cas loved him. A gasping half-sob escaped him as he pushed back, pulling Cas closer, wrapping him in his arms. A light seemed to be filling the room beyond his closed eyes but he only cared about the feel of Cas’s body flush to him. The easy slide of a velvet tongue against his. There was a rushing sound in his ears when he nipped at Cas’s bottom lip and then the world exploded in a shower of shattered glass.

They broke apart as shards littered the library floor to see that they were now surrounded in darkness.

“Umm, what the hell happened?” Dean whispered, he could just make out Cas’s face in the gloom. He looked… sheepish. “Cas?”

“I… got carried away.”

“Did- Did you blow the lights?”

“It was an accident.”

Dean couldn’t help it, he snorted and dissolved into a fit of laughter.

“Dean- Dean, it’s not funny. I didn’t mean to-”

“I know, I know, I’m sorry. We can fix it, don’t worry about it.” He chuckled again, paused and said, “I just… didn’t know you’d blow your load so soon.”

“Dean-” He could practically hear Cas’s eye roll as the angel leant back in his arms, as if trying to escape his hold, but Dean just held him tighter. Cas hadn’t let him go either.

“It’s good to know anyway..” Dean continued, grinning from ear to ear, “If we ever get frisky you might take out the whole of Smith County.”

Cas let out the smallest of laughs before sighing in the big, heavy way that Cas sighs just before he plays along. Blue eyes find him in the dark, and Cas’s voice is low and sultry when he speaks.

“Carry on, and you won’t get the chance to find out.”

 _Oh_.

Dean’s eyebrows shot into his hair. He swallowed audibly and began to lean in one more.

But Sam’s voice echoes up one of the corridors.

“Dean?! Cas?! You okay?! All the lights are out, looks there was a surge or something!"

Dean pulled away from Cas to call back, “Yeah! We’re fine!” he looked back to Cas and muttered, “Better than fine, we’re fucking awesome.” And kissed him again.

Cas grinned at him, eyes crinkling at the corners, and Dean decided right then and there that this is what he’d remember from tonight. Not John, not a family dinner granted to him by magic, this.. Just holding Cas in his arms in the dark.

“Hey, wanna go get something to eat before the interrogation squad gets here?”

“Can we get burgers?”

“Hell yeah we can.”

So, like a couple of teenagers, Dean and Cas snuck out of the bunker under cover of darkness before either Sam or Mary could catch them. As they jogged hand in hand to the Impala, laughing and sneaking more kisses at every opportunity Dean thought that there were two things he definitely should’ve said earlier.

  1. Telling Cas that he loves him.
  2. Telling John Winchester to go fuck himself..



But he decided he’d be content with getting to tell Cas he loves him everyday for the rest of his life.

**Author's Note:**

> Well, I hope y'all liked this little thing.  
> For more nonsense, please see my tumblr - bulletproofandboundforglory


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